The Diary of a vicarage cat

Dear Diary, I’m trying to keep my promise with God and be nicer to the other cats but it’s not easy.  For instance just yesterday morning I saw old Jasper out of the corner of my eye, he was slowly walking up to the food bowls.  No surprise there, Jasper loves his food, and other cats’ food too.  So I thought I’d be nice and helpful and help him to exercise, and to burn off a few mouthfuls of his second breakfast.  But what happened?   Well as I ran up behind him and tapped him on the back, he shot up in the air and banged his head on the underside of the kitchen table, making my guardians quickly look round.  Then I got picked up and not the nice picking up I like, but got carried away and dumped in another room.  I promised to God I would be nicer, so if at first you don’t succeed, try and try again, and I don’t want to break any promises.  So I saw Padgely, he looks like Jasper but younger and a lot slimmer.  Padgely is more fun than old Jasper so I walked up to him, in my funny little sideways walk, a bit like a crab.  Padgely knew I wanted to play.  Then as both of us stared at each other, like a flash I jumped on him.  He was shocked.  I’d caught him off guard and he looked a little scared.  But he played too and he jumped on me, so using my front paws I boxed him off me, and then I jumped back at him, and my claws must have been a bit sharp as he looked in pain and opened his mouth, meowing I think.  Then I felt two strong hands lift me up and before I knew it, I was on my male guardian’s shoulders – he’s tall so it’s a great view from his shoulders but I wanted to play with Padgely, who had now run off in a sulk.  I wanted my guardians to know I

was trying to keep my promise, as I got dumped back in the front room again. Pippin was in the front room, sleeping on the sofa.  I’ve learnt my lesson and stopped picking on her and try whenever possible to be kind to her.  Gently I crept on across the sofa where she was sleeping, and just gave her a friendly little sniff, touching noses for us cats is a sign of friendship, so I just gently pressed my little nose to hers.  And then I jumped back because she jumped up too – she wasn’t expecting to see me and she must have been in the middle of a dream because she hit me, hard, and it hurt.  Automatically I hit her back and that’s when I felt two strong warm hands reach around me and pick me up and not in that nice way either, but carry me off and shut me in the little bedroom. Oh why do things go wrong?  I was just trying to be helpful and each time I got the blame for being naughty, when I wasn’t.   Sometimes life isn’t fair, and trying to keep promises, especially with God isn’t easy, I hope God sees everything and knows what’s in our hearts, and understands I was only trying to be kind.     

Bye for now – Florence